MACHETE

This film is cool.

You can’t be too serious about it, of how it’s made, the actors, the blood, or you could. But not everyone will get it. I’d like to think I did.

Still, it is cool. It’s retro. And funny. Ironic. Better to see it with a light heart.

And you know that guy with long hair, normally one of the bad guys who doesn’t say much. He finally got the leading role. But he doesn’t say that much here either.

He’s extremely cool though. The ladies fall for him like crazy. Ugh. Doesn’t matter that he has some kind of a hero role. He’s not hot. Danny Trejo. Cool.

Oh, Robert de Niro. Isn’t he always the best. A bit smug. Here, an immigrant hating senator in the middle of a campaign for re-election. Not that I agree with what he’s character stands for. Might be good to point that out.

Two hot brave strong Latinas. Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez. The law-enforcer and the law-breaker. But it’s not always about following the law but about doing what’s right.

The spoiled bimbo blogger daddy’s little girl. A sinner and a saint. Lindsey Lohan is not that bad. Just annoying. She shows her boobs but they’ve probably been out at other public occasions.

Steven Seagal is in it too. Big boss. Not much to say about him.

Everybody gets shot, but nobody dies. At least not the ones that count.

So in short, Machete, played by Danny Trejo, is hired to shoot the senator but is set up. In revenge he wants to kill the ones who hired him. Machete rocks.

Apparently it’s been in the making for over ten years, there’s a trailer of it in Grindhouse and Machete, the character, has appeared in other films. Robert Rodriguez directed it.

The Expendables

Definitely messy! It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t good. Ok, that’s what it was, ok. Nothing less and nothing more of what you expect from an action flick.

Of course, the cast is a bit more than one may expect, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews and short appearances from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Just think, Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger in the same scene. If there’s one reason to see The Expendables, this the one. It has to be seen just because of that. It was a funny scene. Many clichés. Good if you know the guys.

So, it’s a real boy film. Not much romance, a lot of bang bang, appalling acting. There are only two women in the entire film and they both need to be saved. Oh, another cliché.

Actually, that’s what the film is filled with, a lot of clichés, but then it wouldn’t be a real action if it wasn’t. For example, all good actions have to include an explosion scene where you see fire behind diving men. It’s a classic.

And where the dudes you’re supposed to hate shoot a million shots and miss and then the good guy gives it one shot and hits target. Classic.

I guess I’m only bringing up the obvious, but if you thought The Expendables would be something else, it’s not. The bonus maybe, you get to see Stallone looking like Barbie, or Ken, since he’s a man, kind of creepy.

So, why did I see it? I have a weak spot for Jason Statham but I didn’t find him quite as charming here as in The Transporter trilogy.

I really, really wanted to see it until I read the synopsis: “A team of mercenaries  gets a mission to precipitate the dictator of Vilena.” Suddenly, I changed my mind thinking it would be just as good on dvd.

However, it was a Sunday night and it’s nice to get out of the house and it was entertaining. Still, maybe I should have chosen to see Toy Story 3 in 3D anyway…

Terminator Salvation

Can’t say I was overly excited about watching the new Terminator. I haven’t even watched the one that came out a few years ago. But I did it and it had to be done at the cinema. If it’s action, special effects, it’s not the same at home.

I enjoy actions and that’s what you get, and a lot of it. Terminator Salvation, the fourth in the sequels has left Arnold Schwarzenegger out of the set to work on his politics. However, there’s some old footage of him that has been cut into this one. It looked a bit odd but better than what I had expected and it was quite late into the film. I was actually sitting waiting for it.

So, John Connor (Christian Bale) is back with an army. The year is 2018 and the Skynet’s machines have pretty much taken over the world or at least that part of America. The machines are not disguised in human bodies anymore, which was a huge disappointment for me. They’re simply clumsy yet powerful robots in different shapes and sizes.

It was absolutely worth seeing this actionpacked blockbuster. Still I’m more excited about other films due to premiere this summer like the new Transformers. Why? I’m not a 13-year-old boy. No. I didn’t play with them when I was younger. My brother did. I just liked the first one and happen to be a big fan of Shia LaBeouf. He always have some witty jokes.